Who Am I

I was just on the way to my office in the morning. The usual route; the usual time; the usual vehicle; the usual overtakes; the usual songs and the usual thoughts; Nothing different except it being just another Monday. Just as I was looking at the road a thought came to my mind, “Who am I? Is this what I was gonna do after I completed my studies?” The job is of my field, complements to my management degree but somewhere down the line, a thin thought still remains in my mind everyday-“This is not what I wanted to do”. My dad tells me, ”You are not meant to do such a job, you should go to US, and pursue your goals”. Not that the job is bad, its just that I maybe the right person at the wrong place.

After I completed my first masters, job was never a priority, going to US was. Prepared for GRE, then got admission to MBA, left that half way. Doing MBA was always my dream, not directly but after work experience but did MBA directly. MBA was my interest, core interest in Advertising; I always wanted to work in an advertising agency and hence always used to concentrate and apply my brains where advertising lectures, presentations etc were concerned per se. But then I could not find a job in an ad agency or rather could not find an ad agency which could give me a job.

My friends always told me, you have a pessimistic nature, may be they did not understand me that well. May be the practical analysis of things in my manner seemed pessimistic to them. I was never over ambitious, I had ambitions which I knew I can fulfill and my shortcomings were always taken as my laziness. And no I am not complaining about anyone.

As I was driving, I could see the road, I could see my goals, the road to achieve my goals, this not being the one I wanted to drive on. And the one I want to drive on, seems entangled, seems tough find out, but I will someday. I was thinking is something wrong with me or am I taking things too seriously and making them complicated without any reason. Maybe I need to relax a bit, calm down a bit maybe I need to give time- to Myself.

What is the reason for me writing all this? Wasting my time and wasting the blog space-“Nothing”. But at least probably for the first time I am putting to words what I am currently thinking. And no I am not down and out, I don’t drive fast, I fly low, I will try harder, one day will get what I want.